Reflections on The Key

We set up The Key in 2013 for two main reasons – firstly women in our domestic violence groups told us they wished that someone had talked to them about relationships or offered them support when they were much younger – often their first abusive relationships had started in their early teens.  Secondly, because our group work in schools showed that girls and young women not only wanted to learn about healthy relationships and staying safe, but lots of them NEEDED it, whether because they were in an abusive relationship, or they witnessed or experienced abuse at home.  We knew it was important to remove as many barriers to young women accessing the service as possible – we wanted to support people from across the city, so we didn’t have to turn people away if they didn’t live in a certain area.  We knew we needed to provide transport – some women were anxious about making their own way there, or getting a bus, or wouldn’t be able to afford to get there themselves and we didn’t want problems with travel to stop people getting to the support they needed.  At WHM we always try to provide a crèche where funding allows, because we know lots of women can’t attend groups if there isn’t a safe space for their children provided, we wanted interpreters for the same reason.   Thankfully, the lovely folk at the National Lottery Community Fund completely agreed and funded the project, initially for three years.

Originally, The Key had three strands – long term group support for girls aged 13–17 that would fit around school or college, long term group support for young women 16-25 during the day that would have a crèche so those with children could attend, and intensive one to one support for those who needed it, or who couldn’t attend group for some reason.  Group sessions covered things like identifying different types of abuse, learning how to recognise our early warning signs – our gut instinct or feelings in our body that tell us something isn’t ok and the impact of abuse on children – for young women this focussed on how living with relationship abuse could impact their own children growing up and for the girls, we looked at what the impact may have been on them growing up around abusive relationships.  Alongside these sessions around abuse, we looked at what helps us avoid future unhealthy relationships – sessions around what a healthy relationship looks like, what we as individuals want from a romantic relationship, how we can increase our self esteem and also feel stronger in ourselves.  The one to one support we offered depended on what the girl or young woman needed, it could be emotional support or practical support – such as attending court or reporting to the police, or with some we would go through a healthy relationships programme with them that would fit what was going on in their lives.

This worked so well, girls and women came to group loved it (even those who were really nervous at first!), shared their stories, sometimes cried a little, laughed A LOT and worked through what was going on for them.  They also really supported each other, with ideas and suggestions about how they managed to deal with certain issues shared with everyone.  We were clear that it needed to be a really safe environment where there was no judgment, and everyone stuck to that and looked after each other.  If there was a specific issue coming up for a lot of people, we’d add a session on it – such as a self harm session for the girls group and a sexual violence session for the young women’s group.  In our third year we held a Key event that group members planned with us, to celebrate the project and tell everyone how great it was!

When the first three years of funding ended, we had seen how important the project was and what a difference it made for girls and young women in Leeds, but we also knew we could make it better.  The long term support was still the main focus, but we also wanted to add short term healthy relationships programmes in schools which would help us reach more girls, but also help prevent some of them from finding themselves in unhealthy relationships.  Our evaluators from Leeds Beckett University also had a recommendation – that group members who had completed the programme struggled to leave our project as they often still had things going on they wanted support with when.  We totally agreed with this, so wanted to add another aspect to the project – a Moving on Group. This would be somewhere group members could go when they finished their initial group programme to still have support, but it would be every two weeks rather than weekly, would be a bit more flexible around how the group was delivered and those attending would have more involvement in how the group was run.  we went back to our funders and they gave us a further three years.

This time round we also included more sessions around dealing with difficult emotions such as anxiety, stress and managing anger and around our bodies, sex and consent.  We delivered the short programme in schools across the city and added some one-off sessions on recognising abuse in places like youth clubs and colleges.  In our final year we worked with Leeds Children’s Services to produce animations on what it’s like growing up as a girl in Leeds where the girls and young women spoke about what was important to them, including interviews on periods, puberty, sexual violence, difficult family relationships, bullying,  pregnancy and abusive relationships.  These animations will be released to the public soon so keep an eye out for them!  Last year, The Key was recognised at the Children and Young People Now magazine’s national awards in London, where we were shortlisted in three categories, read more about that here!

This month, we’re saying goodbye to this ground-breaking project.  We want to say a huge thank you to the support from the lottery and also to our evaluators Louise and Susan at Leeds Beckett University.  Thank you to the WHM team who have worked on the project – Lucy, Marianna, Nic, Sarah, Aneira, Leeanne and Karen.  Our biggest thank you goes to the girls and young women who have been part of The Key over the years – your support of each other, bravery, kindness and strength has amazed us every single day.  You made the project what it was and it’s been fantastic!

 

 

 

Talking consent & World Mental Health Day 2017

 

Some of the members of the team from The Key were invited to attend events at two colleges last week. Sarah and Aneira went along to Leeds City College as part of their event focussing on consent. We like to have activities on our stall, so we asked young women (and lots of staff who wanted to play!) to identify what words/ sounds/ signs may means someone is consenting, not consenting or unsure. Lots of giggles were had but everyone was great at it and we had some really useful chats.

The following day we attended Notre Dame Catholic Sixth Form College’s event as part of World Mental Health Day 2017. Lots of other great organisations were there too including Forward Leeds, Carers Leeds and our lovely friends at Women’s Lives Leeds.

We talked to so many young women and staff about the work we do and about healthy relationships.  Our activity for that event was asking people to think about how unhealthy or healthy relationships can impact our mood and mental health.

We had so many responses!

People had lots of suggestions about how an unhealthy relationship might impact your mental health…..

Make you stressed and not allow you to concentrate on important things, make you insecure, depression, sad, upset, angry, lower self-esteem and confidence, make you self-conscious, anxious, feel unloved, make you feel small & not good about yourself, may cause ill-health as it can make you depressed and stressed out, feeling worn out, make you feel trapped, lonely & guilty like it’s your fault, makes my mood anti-social and lonely, if in education, then it’ll negatively affect performance, lose hope, negative vibes are soaked up into us & we may convey them onto others accidentally. May lead to domestic violence.

 

When it came to how healthy relationships affect our mood and mental wellbeing, they also had loads of ideas including…..

Make you more happy and positive, it will make you feel more loved and valued in life. Boost your confidence, make you satisfied and happy, make me care about others around me, confident in the fact you have someone you can trust & speak to, being in a healthy relationship is good for the mind, you will feel happy and healthy. It can turn mood into a positive, happy state in which boosts & creates healthy living. Secure, excited about life, makes you confident, feeling joy, increased confidence in life & self-confidence, you know that someone cares about you, good vibes make us flowery & positive!

 

We had a great time at both events and, as always, it was fab to talk to so many switched-on young women!! See you next time. =)